Sunday, April 28, 2013

8 More Sentences from Betrothed to Mr. Darcy

I'm back for a second week of Weekend Writing Warriors. Thanks for stopping by.

This snippet is from Betrothed to Mr. Darcy, a Pride and Prejudice variation that I am writing. In this scene, Mr. Bennet and Mr. Darcy are arguing over the terms of the marriage settlement. Elizabeth arrives to find her two favorite men shouting at each other across her father's desk.



“But, this man” he pointed at Darcy yet again. Lizzy wondered at the restraint her intended showed because a lesser man who dared to point at Mr. Darcy not once, but twice, might have found his finger snapped off at the joint, “refuses to accept anything.”

Before she could voice her surprise, Mr. Darcy responded to the accusation. “I am simply being practical, sir. My income is more than sufficient to provide funds for the care of my future wife,” despite his anger, a smile formed on his mouth when he said ‘wife’ and his eyes softened as they looked to the object of his affection, “But you, sir, have a wife and two other daughters to provide for, not to mention the likelihood that your youngest will need financial assistance for the balance of her marriage and beyond.”

“Is it not shameful enough that I am obliged to you for the expense of one daughter’s marriage and the living of her husband but you expect me to allow you the full measure of support for my most beloved daughter as well? It cannot be.”

Betrothed to Mr. Darcy follows Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy during the period of time between their betrothal and marriage. In addition to the usual stresses associated with planning a wedding, Elizabeth Bennet is forced to confront the impact that her family's behavior and reputation will have on not just Mr. Darcy, but his sister, Georgiana, as well. Will she set aside her desire to be his bride in order to protect the Darcy name and reputation? 

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10 comments:

  1. Oh, I hope she won't set him aside to protect his good name. Darcy needs a taste of the real world. Great 8.

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    1. Good point about Darcy getting a dose of the real world. Thanks!

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  2. Love the emotion in this snippet. I do have one comment, and I might be out of place, but your second paragraph is a little sticky. I think breaking it into a few more sentences will make it easier to read. This could be the result of creative editing to stay within the 8 sentence limit, (I've done the same a few times) and if so I apologize.

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    1. Thanks Jess! I always appreciate feedback and I think your suggestion is a good one. I will keep that in mind as I start my serious editing.

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    1. Always nice to hear. Thanks for stopping by!

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  4. Well I like what they're arguing about, shows how much each man cares about her! Terrific snippet!

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    1. Thanks I was hoping that would come across. Thank you for visiting!

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  5. I can see both points - Mr B's pride is smushed and he's ashamed but really, his money would be put to better use for his other daughters. I wonder who will win this one?

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    1. You may have to buy the book to find out. :)

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